I really dread this time of year, not only are the holidays over & all of the fun with family, but it's also cold, snowy & January. I started to cringe at 12:01am on Friday, January 1st. January brings a lot of sorrow into my life & I have been counting down the days to the anniversary of Carter's death. It started this past Tuesday when I realized there were 13 days left, then 12...11....10 is where I'm at today. I don't remember conciously doing that last year, but I think it's my way of preparing for it. Yes I am sad everyday of the year & I do somewhat dread his birthday & other holidays, but nothing is worse than remembering the day your baby died.
I miss him terribly & know that I will once again be reunited with my youngest son, when my time on Earth is done. Until then my mission is to advocate for babies, in hopes that any parent I meet will not have to endure the guilt, shame & grief that I have felt since his death.
praying strength and peace that covers you this month my friend. hugs!
ReplyDeletePraying for peace in your heart and in your life! You are an amazing mom! Carter will always know how much you love him! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWanting you to know that I think of you and Carter often. I've heard from parents that the thought that their baby has been forgotten is one of the toughest parts of losing them. I hope you find relief from any guilt shame or grief that you feel.
ReplyDeleteBIG HUGS! no words needed :)
ReplyDeleteYou are such a strong woman, Becky and I am happy to call you my friend! Please keep my teacher friend who just had twins and only one survived and he has cystic fibrosis in your prayers!
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